As an online presence, do you like to cultivate a community?
I think that has always been my goal with social media in general. Yes I enjoy the jokes/daily shit posting and I used to basically be a Nicki Minaj Stan account on Twitter a decade ago, and yes Tumblr raised me–but I’ve wanted to grow my following to start pushing brands, events, creators, GoGo performers and other queer spaces. Yes, it may be many “thirst traps” as the algorithm is very predictable, but if I’m able to push engagement for some of my favorite queer media and establishments then I feel good about it. I also hope that individuals with bodies that may not be the societal norm of conventionally attractive can feel welcome and know I am sharing things I find inclusive to myself, too. Even when I’m personally feeling a bit dysmorphic regarding my body or even doubting if what I’m doing is even of substance, I know sharing those feelings online sometimes can make others feel seen. I always appreciate when others are more real or messy (very BRAT) online because life is supposed to be real and messy. When a sexy selfie is posted by one of my favorite accounts, I love it, but I also love when they’re talking about how they actually haven’t been so confident lately. My friends and I would see stuff like that and say, “And that’s on community!!!” Because it sure is.
What are some of your favorite queer events or accounts promoting community for those with thicker/beefier body types?
I’m biased here, but one of my favorites is an event I co-host with some of my friends, which is called “Goldiloxx”. It’s a monthly dance party for bears, chubs, admirers, and all who just want to come dance and feel joy together, no matter how you identify. It’s produced by my friend Nick Laughlin who does so much work in nightlife/production and was also just on the recent off-Broadway show “Drag: The Musical”. True icon. My favorite thing about it is it feels like a party I’d go to regardless with friends even if I wasn’t hosting it. That’s when I know an event is welcoming, because it feels good to come back each month and I look forward to seeing everyone. I feel sexy there and don’t feel a single ounce of judgement about my body as I move freely in a jock-strap. And many of the GoGo bears (shoutout to Noah, Jason, Jaxx, Vern, Dom, and many others) always give their all and the crowd feels that energy 100%. Another event I love and have cohosted before is “Bearmilk” at The Deep End in Brooklyn/Ridgewood. My friend Jorge Mdahuar produces that party and it’s been going on for several years. It’s another party for bigger guys/bears/admirers that feels almost like family every time you’re there. These events, and others I’ve posted about, I believe also help guys that have been categorized as bigger/heavier explore their sexuality freely. There’s always a “dark room” like the “Cockpit” at Red eye where Goldiloxx happens or the cruisey tent at Bearmilk. As a thicker guy myself I feel confident going through those spaces, it feels good seeing others with similar body types together just having a good time. And also wonderful to see so many different kinds of bodies create a safe space for each other. It may sound “corny” but events like this help me and many of my close friends feel seen. And I’m forever grateful for that.
You mentioned you enjoy gaming to relax, do you dabble in the Gaymer world, or is it more of a solo activity?
I grew up with video games, but I’m definitely not the action/first person shooter Gaymer. I love colors, cuteness and cozy games, or RPGs like Pokemon. I, of course, can’t leave out the Nintendo Franchise in general. It’s usually been solo, since with a group it can turn into all out fights with friends playing Mario Party/Kart. Though sometimes I do log on and trade Pokemon with random people at 2am. I actually just pre-ordered the new Nintendo Switch 2 and Mario Kart World, and I’m excited about the future of some of my favorite titles. Not so excited about the amount of time I’ll be using to play but I’ll worry about that another time. It’s also been an escape for me, be it playing Animal Crossing all throughout the COVID pandemic, or just getting lost in the nostalgia of it all. Maybe one day I’ll try more “action-y” games but I think any “Gaymer” is valid. And if I take time to not play for periods of time, I’ll still enjoy watching Tiktokers live-stream playing games, specifically Roblox and horror games (since I can’t play those alone).
